he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
