Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
