I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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