absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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