We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
