i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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