Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
