Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
