i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
