Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
