You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
