they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
