k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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