i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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