i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
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