She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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