If that was your dad, he is hot
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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