I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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