He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
