i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
