I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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