We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
