Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
