if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
