I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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