so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Life is so much better after having sex.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
