i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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