Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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