I'm really into asian looking animals
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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