Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
