Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
