Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
