this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
