physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
