I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I had to cum in my sink.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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