there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
