That's when you crack a 10am beer
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
