dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
