You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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