Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
