we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
NoShamevember. You game?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
