Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
