I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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