I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
