can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
