I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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