Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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