Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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