Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
