Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
